Actor Ashton Kutcher hosts; Them Crooked Vultures perform "Mind Eraser, No Chaser" and "New Fang." Sketches include "On the Record w/ Greta Van Susteren," "Gertrude's Will," "The View," "Cialis for Threeways Commercial," "Roman Slave Boy," "Weekend Update" with guests Liam (a teenager who just woke up), Eliot Spitzer, Jean K. Jean, and Garth and Kat, "What Is Burn Notice?" "Access Hollywood's Oscar Coverage," "An Even-Tempered Apology from Rahm Emanuel," and "Wedding Band.